Ruminations in a garbage can...

Yup. There it is. It really bothers her. I must be one of at least 200 that came off her head today. I already know what shes thinking. "Why me? I've been doing everything I was told to do..... I eat meat, eggs and drink milk twice a day. That makes for most of the protein and calcium and all the other stuff, shine whatever.... It's not fair." Then she stands in front of the mirror examining her face. Your face? Wake up woman! Why the hell are you examining your face. It's your hair thats pouring off your head. I could do with some attention here. Helloooo! She's still thinking. I can see it, sitting here in her garbage can. Getting crowded in here actually. There are just too many of us. The people who stay with her have issues too. Is it the water? Hmmm. "What the hell! I have Biotin every day. That supposed to fix this...." Her thinking again. You are supposed to have it for a month at least if you want something to happen. Its not magic for Chrissakes! Again the face. Concentrate! Concentrate! And what the hell are you doing concentrating on your hair the day before your Biochemistry exam?! Anyway, since you think the hair issue is an issue right now, focus! From now on you will have carrots every day, continue with the vitamin pills and you will not stay up late reading wikipedia articles on the Tudors! Not beyond 2:00 am. That is unholy. Nope! Not happening. Not paying attention. She's already started making faces in front of the mirror. Too late. Why? Why was I on her head? She couldn't care less if I disappeared all together. What on earth are you doing, you weirdo? Are you trying to crack the mirror? That expression could wake the dead. Why do you do it? Now she's shaking her hair in front of her face and making the Cruella D'Ville expression. Oh no! Its happening again. "I have such nice thick hair. And its all black! And curls in the end. I love my hair." Uggh! Vanity thy name is woman. You won't have any of that thick, black curl on the end stuff if you go on at this rate. Listen to me! Nope! Just not happening today! She's started washing her face. Oh God! Your little sis just taught you how to wash your face last month. What you're doing is rubbing your face off. Stop stop! Before you scrub off all your features! Oh! Nothing happened! Thank God! It was ugly, trust me! If only I was on her sister's head! I would get an oil massage twice a week, conditioning mask on Saturdays, good food, soft caressing brush strokes....I would be long and strong and soft, at least 12 inches long. ...that is the life. Hey! Stop that! That's a massacre! You ought to be hanged by you locks! How dare you uproot all my children like that! They're hardly a week old! If you hate us all that much, why don't you just shave us off! We'd do much better off as a wig! How can a woman brush her hair like that! You're supposed to be the gentler sex! Stop it! You're hands are like lawn mowers! You're just tearing me apart. Just look at the floor. My babies! Oh! You're done. Phew! Sweep! Sweep! You're throwing us already! Thats right! Bury the evidence! So you don't have to deal with it any more! You just wait young woman. I'm on to you. I'll come haunt you in your dreams. You'll see me, hundreds of me, squirming and wiggling on your bathroom floor, and you'll be all bald. Now you're thinking. Noo! What do you mean, it would be cool to be bald? What do you mean you'd look really wise and mature. Thats for guys. Women, its different! You're supposed to have long hair and colour it and perm it and iron it and twirl it in your fingers when you want to flirt. How did you turn out like this? Noo! What do you mean, hair is made of keratin isn't that cool? This is not the time for biochemistry. You are made of organic compunds and 70% of water and you have all these crazy amino acids that do all your work for you. Thats not cool! Thats normal! So is everyone else. Focus! This is important. Wait! Wait! I'm not done talking to you yet young lady! You're not dumping me in there yet....Hey! Hey!